Sep 15, 2017

STOP FUCKING CALLING ME. Please text. :-)

I've noticed a trend with people over the age of 40, and I am beginning to suspect my irritation stems from being a xennial/millenial... growing up analogue but adulting digital, I have adapted easily into the smartphone age.

Let me share my rant with you. Please feel free to comment on this! I'd like to know others opinions (and age groups...)


WTF is with people calling randomly? If you're not a telemarketer, get with the times. Recognize that smartphones aren't just a way to touch base, but are used as personal computers by most of the modern population. Your unexpected phone call can disrupt a conversation, a meeting, an email, a heated "text", reading the newspaper, a meditation, listening to the radio, you name it, your unannounced phone call is probably interrupting it. Please don't call me unless you text me first EVEN IF IT'S IMPORTANT. I can read and answer text quicker than I can answer a disruptive call anyways! K THANX BYE ~Millenials & Xennials.

I'd like to also comment that this rant stems from the fact that we no longer use telephones strictly as telephones. If I had a desktop computer strictly for emails and business, a pager strictly for text messages, a landline strictly for calls, if dating was not virtual and only ever getting to know someone over coffee, if I got the new from a newspaper, and entertainment from a TV, my music from a walkman or the radio, and if I only got a chance to visit friends walking down the street or shopping at the supermarket, then by all means call away! But my cellphone has replaced ALL of these things, so it's not just calling me anymore. It's potentially interrupting all of these. I don't want people to get pissed off at me or this comment, but come to recognize that this is the current reality, and these aren't going away but will be progressing. Until I can turn off the phone portion of my cell without losing accessibility of my other tools, I'll continue to ask that people text instead of calling.

Jul 11, 2017

Los Angeles and Acting School?




I have been really throwing myself around lately, trying to figure out what to do with myself. Each birthday that passes it gets a little more shameful that I have no clue what direction to go, because I'm supposed to be all grown up now, right?

I have travelled the world and lost the inclination to be a responsible adult, growing my desire to learn and feed my curiosity.  I can't seem to sit still, but I know I have to.

I decided to finally push forward and book an audit in some acting classes at a school in LA, and really I was going there for a party but that was just the excuse...  I booked my flight, and contacted as many of my American friends as humanly possible to try and make it the most fulfilling 10 days possible... I was going to LA for 10 days and it was going to be AMAZING.

I have to admit, in that time, I did consume a lot of alcohol. I also learned that LA is just a really big Vancouver... full of wannabe artists/actors, people who really don't care who you are but they care who you know.  Flaky fuckers who can't seem to hold down plans, and cancel or ghost you on the regular.  In Vancouver, it's called "getting vancouver'd" but in LA, it's just normal.  You obviously don't have important enough celebrity friends to be able to make that lunch date.
It really doesn't matter who you are. Unless you are SOMEBODY. Or you KNOW someone... But that IMDb number had better be in the top 5000, or else "sorry I fell asleep" will be the most common response you hear!

I guess I really didn't have any expectations, but the shallowness of the people I encountered was mind boggling. I cannot stand people who start a conversation with "so, who ARE you? Or who do you know?" I try to ignore the nice ones who instinctively comment on "so I went for lunch with Mel Gibson the other day" knowing that they aren't name dropping and arrogant by nature, but simply because the Los Angeles culture forces them to be that way. I've never been the kind of girl who gushes in awe when someone drops a name... So I smile politely and say "that's nice" and try to get the conversation back onto the topic of lunch and their trip to Hawaii.

I can't help but silently tell myself "sheesh, if only they knew."  I subconsciously start counting how many people I have seen naked and wonder how many IMDb stars they'd be worth... shake my head and laugh to myself, knowing that the day I die and my journals are released to the public, man it sure will be a good story.  I reminisce on some of the good memories, some of the naughty ones.  And then I wonder once again how people can be so obsessed and insistent on letting you know how they're friends with the cousin of Nicolas Cage or they met someone one time at a lineup at starbucks... cuz really, who cares? How is that affecting you and I right now, in the moment we have?  I just want to enjoy a nice glass of prosecco and people watch, fantasize, and dream about the things I want to do this summer...

But this is LA. That's how it goes.  If I do end up going to school here, or spending any amount of time here, I sure will have to learn patience and to bite my tongue. I can imagine it would be relatively easy to be dragged down into the celeb gossip pool.  I guess I've never really been interested in the private lives of people I don't know (or don't care to know...)

Now I'm having those dreams. Those desperate housewife dreams.  Am I gonna end up like that?  I just wanted to learn the craft, and to tell a story... I have bigger and better things to do than boast about my car and jewels ... sigh ...
But you know, a sugar daddy WOULD be nice...

I had a blast in LA.  I did spend WAY too much time alone, and getting annoyed by Tinder men.  The speed in which men send dick pics in the USA is astounding compared to back home, where people usually have to be drunk to disgust/shock/sexually assault the eyes of strange young women.

So I'm going back to LA, you know. I already booked my flight.

I have no idea what I'm doing, and don't really know why.  But there is a light that is catching my eye and that fire burning in my soul, since I've already done the Vancouver thing, LA is the next best method of self-torture.  Why not!  Wish me luck...


May 3, 2017

My 8 day detox at Chivasuka Resort - Mae Taeng, Chiang Mai, Thailand

My 8 day detox at Chivasuka Resort - Mae Taeng, Chiang Mai, Thailand

I’ve been traveling now since December 11th, 2016. It’s the end of April 2017 and my body is tired. I spent each month consuming more alcohol, more cigarettes, and eating whatever I saw and felt like. You can imagine the amount of sugar, fat, and toxins was pretty intense. My kidneys actually got pretty mad at me in March when I went to Spain for a week, I spent 3 days doubled over in pain and drinking water by the gallon. I was grateful that the pain subsided, but kept on drinking like a fool. 

When I flew to Thailand I knew I had to find a retreat. I needed a good solid detox… we’re talking colon cleansing, juicing, fasting, and meditation. Yoga and massages… the works.
I found Chivasuka after weeks of googling, and it is one of the affordable places in Northern Thailand.  7 nights/8 days cost me 845$ US (it’s 3300 baht per night at the current exchange rate), this was all inclusive for all my food/juicing, daily yoga, personalized care, and a really sweet chalet overlooking the valley.
The resort is quite small so I imagine you have to book ahead of time as I only noticed 2 functioning chalets for guests (meaning maximum 2 parties per stay), but the attention you get here is astounding!

They offer pick up from Chiang Mai but I came on my own so was given a slight discount on my extra night (normal week fast is 7 days/6 nights, but I knew I”d need an extra day to break the fast or I might jump right back on the alcohol bandwagon).

The place wasn’t easy to find with the directions I got and lack of signage, but this will be corrected in the future as I was sure to give a google maps pin and photo screenshot of the exact location of the resort, which is right off the 3052 (a roundabout loop from the main hi way through MaeTamann, a village I spent nearly 3 winters living with elephants).

The dutch couple offer raw food/vegan/juicing/smoothies according to your personal detox/refresh/desires… There is no smoking whatsoever on the property, so be prepared. Even though I’ve been a heavy smoker I haven’t felt strong cravings and my secret sneaking away for a puff moments have been very infrequent, to the point I”m confident I can quit smoking altogether.

Karin and Jan are the lovely owners, Karin being the nutrition and health specialist (and yoga instructor) and her husband is the very talented chef that can make even juicing feel like a 5 star meal!
I was greeted with love and smiles and a fresh, cold, coconut. After my long journey from the mountains I was in desperate need of a shower, and when I saw my GORGEOUS OMFG AMAZING VILLA HOLY CRAP THIS IS ALL FOR ME????? - I was thrilled!  Huge chalet overlooking the valley with a terrace that wraps around the entire building, 2 lounge chairs with privacy blinds (which you really don’t need), a hammock, fan above, outdoor “kitchen” where you can make your own tea or store drinks in the fridge. The room is “Feng Shue” keeping everything in front of your bed open and clean, with the choice of curtains or windows to see the amazing view. Nature at it’s finest… There is air con or a fan, your choice, lots of outlets for your charging needs, and the his & hers bathroom coms equipped with robes/towels/amenities and has a separate (hot) shower and toilet.
Now coming by myself I actually was a little sad, this is the perfect place for a couple or 2 best friends.
There was 2 swedish guys around 23 who decided to partake in the amazing health journey and  so our time was very intimate. The schedule was very specific, but so flexible. They are here for YOU… and YOUR journey.  

I chose to jump right in for the intense juicing fast, but your program depends on your level of experience/health etc, so don’t fear! They have the option to just enjoy raw food vegan cooking if you want to skip the fasting.

My detox program was as follows:
7:30am the lovely chef brings a shot of parasite killer & “lemonade” to kickstart the metabolism.
8:00am comes the green juice.
9:00am is breakfast! Which is either a smoothie (likely muesli and yogurt or juice with fruit - always creative with the chef! He’s really amazing.)
11:00am your choice of “detox coffee” which is likely nut milk chai, or “hot chocolate”, but no coffee as you should avoid caffeine while cleansing…
1:00pm LUNCH! More juice. Sometimes green, sometimes fruit, always hearty and delicious.
4:00pm Yoga - this is OPTIONAL of course, but Karin is great, a lot of fun, and yoga is a great way to get things moving through your body. (toxins etc.)
6:30pm “happy hour” - a nice big drink of kombucha in a wine glass ;-) definitely need the probiotics!
7:00pm - dinner! Always classy.

Here you are getting 24/h attention and care… if you’re hungry or not feeling it, just let them know and they will make sure your experience is as tolerable as possible! Jan is an amazing cook and REALLY puts a lot of love and passion into meals, so even when juicing he’s there trying to make sure you get all the flavours and the feel of a real meal.

Unlimited water and tea, but no sugar. For me I was struggling, as I am a HUGE sugar addict. Karin took pity on me and gave me a dose of stevia to add to me tea! Thank you!! 

Even though I jumped right into the juicing without going raw food for a couple days, I didn't really suffer too much. I haven't been overeating (thanks to my overdrinking) so my biggest challenges were smoking and sugar... but AMAZINGLY I didn't crave cigarettes at all!

I had a couple of moments that popped up over the first few days, but by day 5 I was smoke free and doing just fine! It helped that there was no smoking anywhere near the property...

The juices, smoothies, and raw food dishes were all made and served with extra love and a lot of pizzaz. The presentation was spectacular, and Jan made sure to have everything presented without the feel of "just juice", whether it was cognac glasses or beautiful bowls, shot glasses of flavour, etc, we always had amazing meals and never went hungry.

 My hardest battle was sugar. I craved (and still crave) sugar.. constantly... It comes in waves, but it's definitely something I will be fighting long after I leave this place.
Day 5 was really a turning point for me. I lost cravings, gained a new found energy, my mind was buzzing with ideas and I was constantly excited and productive!
I read 3.3 books in the 8 days I was there. I haven't even finished ONE book since I left Canada 4 months ago, so this is a big deal!  I wrote A LOT. I made notes, found recipes online, wrote motivators and inspiration to continue my healthy lifestyle when I move on with my life.

My pH levels went into alkaline right around day 5, but I stayed neutral mostly from day 3-8. If I drank white tea (with caffeine) my acidity would rise, but for the most part I was golden.

These guys make EVERYTHING in their giant and beautiful kitchen. They have a 9 tray excalibur dehydrator, 2 blenders, juicers, food slicers and dicers... They make their own yogurt, kombucha, you name it! It's pretty spectacular!
Jan was a master chef throughout the week, ensuring that we never went hungry and even while juicing everything was served in beautiful dishware, or presented like a proper meal.  I always felt like I was being well fed, and I never went hungry!
I'm actually surprised how easy it was for me. I didn't even lose any weight! The sugar detox was a bit intense, but with the daily enemas (I shifted between coffee and garlic) and the plethora of nutrients I probably could have done a second week easily.  It's something to consider :)

The chalet was absolute gorgeous, as well. A big bed in the centre of the room overlooking the valley, the windows wrapped around the whole front half of the chalet. There was 2 lounge chairs on the balcony, and a hammock which I sat in every single day and read.
I managed to read THREE WHOLE BOOKS during my time. I intentionally disabled my social media to avoid distraction, and focused on my health.
I did a lot of journaling as well. It was such a wonderful experience, I wish I didn't have to leave!
At 105$ US (or 3500 baht) per night (this is your accommodations and food, consulting with Karin the registered RHN, daily yoga, enema kit, vitamins, shampoo etc, free laundering upon request, candles, sauna in your room with herbs, and basically all you can eat raw food/juice/smoothies, shuttle to and from Chiang Mai.) this is the best rate you will find in Northern Thailand, and worth every penny.

It was hard to leave, but they supplied me with a last meal, snack to go, fresh made herbs, and hugs!

I am maintaining my vegetarian diet (I am naturally pescatarian, meaning I eat seafood, but I've decided to try and stick to vegetarian. I'm not ready to cut dairy and eggs, however, but I will try to eat as mych raw as I can!)

I would like to add some more details about my journey, but this is a good start. I'll add photos later on as well!