Aug 31, 2013

I don't know what I'm doing says the nomad

What happened?

One minute I'm finished high school and making my way in the big city with big plans... Gonna be a pilot, maybe join the military, career by 22 and married by 26. Next thing I know I blink 10 years is gone and I have no career, no love of my life, a dog and a house I never really wanted.

Over the years I've tried to get my pilots license after I decided that the military route was too much commitment. I have done ground school a half a dozen times, each one ending with me not knowing where I even started, running out of money or something comes up then I forget everything and do it all over again.

I shuffle along doing this and that trying to find myself and someone to love me. I get heartbroken and break hearts and all I end up with is a dog that annoys me most of the time but at least kennels are legal thank god I never had kids.
A few years back I got the opportunity to buy the house next door to my best friend, but in all the time I've lived there I've not seen her any more than if I lived across town. She's a busy girl who works too much and I've never been high on her list of priorities. Why did I buy this house again?
Now I've moved out, listed the place and praying it will sell in the next 6 months.
People are complaining about traffic noise and the unsightly pole in the basement... I guess none of them have heard of stripcercise ... I feel sorry for the men.

Now I am a certified ESL teacher that's spent 10 years in sales and I don't want to be here anymore.
I'm tired of being lonely in YYC, for some reason friendly Canadians are hard to befriend when you have nothing in common or don't leave the house. I just want to get out of here.
And I will.

Flight to Milan leaves in 3 days. Nothing stopping me now except a darn SUV I never wanted and the hopeful sale of my slightly overpriced house...
Pray it all works out and go on with life I suppose?
Over the next year I really can't predict what will happen, I can only hope that bad things don't happen.
I know that no matter what I'm sure it's going to be an adventure. I have a general idea of what I would like to do, for now.
I do not have a clue where I will be in 5 years. Where I will be.
Maybe I will be a gypsy. Or maybe I will already have my dream home in Italy. Maybe I will decide a nomadic life is better and choose to be constantly changing and exploring... Or perhaps I will discover something completely new and head a direction I never dreamed of?

Who am I? Who will I become? Who was I, anyway?