Feb 24, 2007

Night Terrors/Nightmares?!?

Boy I haven't been sleeping well lately... The past week has been a nightmare, literally.
Within the past year I've become increasingly afraid of the dark - this is something I didn't even experience as a child. (I am now 24)
I sleep with my good old teddy bear again, for about a week now.

I spoke to my mom on the phone today about these strange vivid nightmares I've been having increasingly... I thought I was going crazy and I had written down phone numbers for psychics and physciatrists....

I came across this website after my mother suggested that it wasn't nightmares but "night terrors".
She said she had them right up until she was 20 years old.

Let me tell you about my night terrors.

At one point I thought I was seeing ghosts... (I can't remember exactly when these happened)
I was dozing and came to because I felt something, and saw a face materializing above my head and it came towards me, I absorbed it somehow and became completely paralized.
I couldn't scream, I couldn't move, and I couldn't breath.
My chest felt so heavy like someone was sitting on it and my boyfriend was right beside me but I couldn' t move or yell to wake him.
It was light outside, and by this point I was fully awake, terrified, and a few minutes after it subsided. The scariest part was being unable to breathe.
It started with light pressure, and got heavier until I was unable to inhale,
and then like a weight lifting off me, I could move breath and whimper.

The 2nd "ghost" was not visual...
I was in London (UK) and staying at an old house, there were 2 other people in the house.
I was trying to fall alseep after reading a book and listening to my iPod.
I did fall asleep, and woke up for an unknown reason at 4:33am.
I remember having a dream that was happy, so I smiled, lay back, and started thinking about it. I was thinking about my boyfriend, and I started to smell my favorite cologne which he sometimes wears.
I know I have a vivid imagination so I assumed it was all in my head, but then the cologne smell got stronger and stronger until I could taste it's foul bitterness in my mouth, and then I "felt" something... I started to panic.
I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see anything.
I felt the coming of a paralysis that reminded me of the first ghost.
I got terrified and remembered how I couldn't breathe, so before my arms went completely numb I threw one arm over myself off the bed and fell off the bed, got control of my body because of the jolt when I hit the floor, ran for the light (switched it on) and then ran to the kitchen.
I stayed awake, made some tea, talked to myself, and that was it.

Every once in a while I do hallucinate, though not accompanied with paralysis.
I sleep with my eyes half open for some reason.
So sometimes I can see things going on around me.

Normally I see small, metallic objects spinning or flying through the air, usually with spikes and I "know" they are trying to kill me.
When I see them I wake up, sometimes I yell or scream.
I will dodge them, roll or jump out of bed, throw the covers over the objects, run for the light and once the room is lit I can see they are gone I am able to calm down.

More recently the hallucinations have been getting stronger, as well as my sensation of ultimate fear and sheer terror...
The objects have more shape, stay longer, and I don't always stop at the door.

Feb 3rd was my worst one...I was in a hotel, and falling asleep.
There was a "ghost" in my room, but I didn't see him right away. He was seductively threatening me, and I knew he didn't want me there.
He must have been hundreds of years old, judging by speech and what I assumed he was wearing, but when he materialized, it looked like silly putty.
It snaked out and began to wrap itself around me, and felt hot... he was laughing, and I SCREAMED.
I screamed or wailed, louder than I ever have in my entire life.
I have never felt that kind of terror at any point in my existance, I could have had a heart attack for all I know.
This warm, snakelike thing was wrapping around my torso as I lay in bed, and spikes started portruding out like a funky dog collar....
I threw myself off the bed jumping 2 or 3 feet away, lurching for the other side of the room where a lightswitch lay and screaming/wailing the entire time.
My legs stretched as far as they could in a loping run for the door, I didn't bother to look behind me after flicking the switch.
I just ran straight out the door right into the hallway of this old hotel in Manaus, screaming almost in tears.
I finally realized where I was, and it took me about 3 minutes before I could go back into the room (Boy was I ever embarassed) because I thought he might be trying to trick me.

Since then, I have been having these hallucinations more frequently than ever.

In the past week, every night I am jolted awake because of something.

Last night it was a large ball of spikey twisted metal above my bed about 4 feet in diameter.

The night before it was a tiny little egg shaped ball, see through and staticy like a TV, slowly and steadily floating towards my bed from the side at waist height. It was hissing at me. I dodged it and slept on the couch.

Before that was something (entity?) with an umbrella like thing with a knife on the end, before that was little spikey balls (usually in pairs) swooping above my head.

Once was a "ghost" with something resembling a paper clip, and that time I threw the covers over him, ran to the bathroom and locked the door... I was screaming for him to LEAVE ME ALONE, then I heard a "click" because I could swear he threw that paper clip thing at the bathroom door, and the soft thud as it fell to the carpet.

I am already starting to get scared because darkness is creeping outside, and I am alone in my house. I don't want to sleep on the couch anymore, but I am too scared of what I will see this time.
Why am I so terrified? Why am I hallucinating? What message is this? Am I dreaming, only while I'm awake?
These things WAKE me up... so am I going crazy? What on earth is wrong with me? Why is this happening NOW?
I never used to have this problem as a child, and as I got older it was only once in a while. It's getting more frequent, and I don't know why.

I don't even know if it's classified as night terrors. But it sure does keep me awake at night, and I'm so tired...