Apr 2, 2016

So it's not Night Terrors...

After me going on for the last 10 years thinking I was suffering from adult Night Terrors, I finally spoke to a sleep doctor and found out I was way off.

I apparently am suffering from Complex Nocturnal Visual Hallucinations (hypnagogic) and I have no idea what to do about it... I do not know what causes them, what triggers them, and worst of all, how to stop them.

Since I was about 11 years old I have suffered these hallucinations which were seemingly dreams as a child, and the last 10 years became very apparent waking hallucinations of which I am fully aware of and fully conscious for.

They have been progressing from feelings and movement to full on people and colour and detail... depending on the night.

I have had continual interrupted sleep because of this disorder, and have gotten pretty used to Clonazepam (Lorazepam) which I really enjoy, but I don't feel has "cured" me.

The last one I had was after taking Quentiapine or whatever the fuck it's called (the sleep doc wanted to dope me up just like a schizophrenic, but I can't usually take these because they make me stoned all day. I just really, really wanted sleep after a bad episode....)

Even though usually this stuff knocks me unconscious, I woke from a dead sleep...

I heard a pop or click, kind of like the sound of a TV turning on, and I woke up, saw something, and I decide ot speak to it. Not the usual "LEAVE ME ALONE!", "GO AWAY", or "GET OUT OF HERE!" and perhaps this is because of the meds, my adrenaline didn't kick in... SO I was not panicked and I said "Who are you, what do you want?" I demanded... and holy shit, I swear, it replied.
This has never happened before.
It (he?) said "how did you do that?" and I replied "I saw what you did. I can see you." So matter of factly, though i was out of it and had no idea what i was talking about.
"impressive." was the last I recall, and he disappeared.
This was a different hallucination. Usually it's just a person with no face, and it's quite dark. But for some reason I could see everything like the lights were on in my room. I saw the bright colours of everything.  And the thing was a spot about 5 feet or so off the ground, bright pink or peach skin tone but like, really bright... and about the size of a frizbee but no shape.
It never formed fully into anything so I did not see a person. I just knew it was an entity, and it's voice sounded male to me.

Anyways after that I got scared and the adrenaline of sheer terror finally hit my heart so I tried to calm my heart beat so I could go back to sleep.

I have no idea how the hell I woke up with that shit in my system, but what a weird NT (I'm sorry I"m so used to calling them night terrors it's easier than complex nocturnal visual hallucinations) CNVH? fuck it.

Anyways it's way past my bed time. I even passed out for 2 hours this afternoon ... but now i'm a bit nervous to sleep. Oh well.

Wish I got a reflill on the clonazepam :( I only have 3 left...